Extremely short fiction by Lucian Janik


Robert walked into the family room carrying a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a bowl of hard boiled eggs. He stared at the tv.

"What are you watching?" he asked Gloria.

Gloria was reclining on the sofa, leaving no room for Robert to sit down. She was wearing the incredible shrinking tee shirt.

"Pasta Picasso."

"What is Pasta Picasso?" Robert gestured for Gloria to make room for him to sit. She was oblivious.

"Contestants have to build artwork out of macaroni. Today's pasta is fusilli, elbow macaroni, and mafalda."


"That guy is making a replica of Nude Descending a Staircase."

"Can you make room for me to sit?"

"You can sit in the armchair."

"Fine, no eggs for you."

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